...but then, any day on which you need to go out and buy a pair of bolt cutters is likely to be an interesting day.
It's like this. There's a single door between our kitchen and the rest of the house. This door has a lock on it, for no reason I've ever understood. It's the kind with the little doohickey in the center of the knob that you push in and turn clockwise to lock the door. From the other side--the kitchen side--you can only lock and unlock it with the key, which was lost untold ages ago.
Today, my almost two-year-old daughter Mary pushed in the little doohickey, and turned it counterclockwise, and then closed the door, locking herself, her sister, and her mother into the kitchen--or, really, as the kitchen has a door to the outside, out of the rest of the house.
Our house has two other outside doors, and Jane had her keys; it should have been the work of a moment to step outside, go round to the front door, and voila, problem solved. Except that our children had officiously set the security chain on the front door. And on the back door.
At this point, Jane had two options. She could call a locksmith, or she could call me. Our local locksmith charges $90 for a housecall, and as I'll come home for free she called me. I went to Orchard Supply for a pair of bolt cutters ($30), and shortly thereafter we had one fewer security chain and the run of the house.
I don't think I'll be replacing the security chain, incidentally; snipping through it took about half-a-second, and I'm sure all the crooks know this perfectly well.
Whilst at OSH, in any effort to prevent any repetition of the problem, I bought a new non-locking doorknob set, and my first task after unlocking the door was to remove the old lockset and install the new set. I got out my handy-dandy Leatherman multitool, flicked out the screwdriver, and prepared to get to work.
And promptly discovered that there were no screws on the doorknob assembly on either side of the door. I spent a good ten minutes looking it over, and frankly I'm still not sure how to remove the old lockset.